


picking up stardust

by BowAndDagger



Series: you'll arrange the stars to lead me home [3]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Deadly Pretty and Attractive Things™, Don't copy to another site, Fluff, I Will Go Down With This Ship, M/M, Madara Can't Deal, Madara.exe has crashed, Marriage Hunt, NO dub-con, NOT to have sex, No Sex, That Smirk is Apocalyptically Dangerous, Tobirama.exe is not far behind, Uchiha Flailing, Uchihas are attracted to Deadly™, What If marriage hunts were a thing?, What-If, except not really, marriage hunts to prove your worth, no non-con
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-16
Updated: 2019-11-18
Packaged: 2021-02-07 09:55:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21456133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BowAndDagger/pseuds/BowAndDagger
Summary: Spin-offs, alternate versions of scenes, what-could-have-been and what happened behind the scenes of 'there lies a trail of fire behind us'.Chapter 1: Madara’s list of Kitsune’s Deadly, Pretty and Attractive Things™Chapter 2: Marriage Hunt (alternate beginning of Chapter 3: Interruption)
Relationships: Senju Tobirama & Uchiha Madara, Senju Tobirama & Uchiha Madara & Uzumaki Naruto, Senju Tobirama & Uzumaki Naruto, Senju Tobirama/Uchiha Madara, Senju Tobirama/Uchiha Madara/Uzumaki Naruto, Senju Tobirama/Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Madara & Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Madara/Uzumaki Naruto
Series: you'll arrange the stars to lead me home [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1546594
Comments: 19
Kudos: 597
Collections: Foxy fox 🦊





	1. Deadly, Pretty and Attractive Things™

**Author's Note:**

> Also on Tumblr (bow-and-dagger)
> 
> *cackles*
> 
> Enjoy!

Uchihas are fiery by nature. They're fierce, stubborn and untameable. Despite their strength, they have weaknesses.

Their family, for one. Their cats, for another.

Deadly and Pretty Things, too.

Madara, as the Uchiha clan heir, is no exception.

(Even if he wasn't prepared to be bludgeoned over the head by the attraction.)

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Madara’s list of Kitsune’s Deadly, Pretty and Attractive Things™:

  * Powerful
  * Very _Very_ Pretty
  * (Should Really Just Throw That Mask In The Bin Cuz’ Kitsune’s Extremely Handsome)
  * Give no Fucks
  * Will Fuck You Up if Crossed (Or Just Bored)
  * Thumb Nose At Your Silly Rules. Or Norms. Or Stereotypes.
  * Sage
  * Probably Is Not Human
  * Probably _Is_ A Kitsune
  * Or A Minor God
  * Brought Peace To The Clans
  * Saviour Of The World
  * Prankster
  * Sneaky
  * Bright, Warm and Cuddly With Pointy Things
  * That Shakujo Is Deadly
  * As Is That Smile
  * Cute And Deadly Summons (Foxes E V E R Y W H E R E)
  * Protective
  * Possessive
  * Give Best Hugs™
  * Good With Kids
  * Fierce
  * Has Good Tastes in Mates
  * Brought Tobi


	2. Marriage Hunt (alternate beginning of Chapter 3: Interruption)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobirama gatecrashes the <strike>honeymoon</strike> journey. It has consequences he didn't expect...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little self-indulging thing that is not canon for the 'there lies a trail of fire behind us' verse.
> 
> (Btw, chapter 4 is owning me. You'll have to wait a bit longer, sorry!)
> 
> Enjoy!

One moment Madara is held against a wall by Tobirama’s fist in the collar of his robes, the next he’s pressed flush against a strong chest, a low rumbling right next to his ear.

He shivers from head to toes.

“Back. Off!” Kitsune snarls at the Senju, once more back in his masked shinobi appearance.

Tobirama blinks, utterly taken aback though his surprise and befuddlement are not really visible on his face.

“What?”

Madara would like to ask the same thing but he’s distracted. He can _feel_ Kitsune’s growl through his back; can feel it resonating through his friend’s ribcage and reverberating in his own. Muscled arms encircle his waist and his companion has taken advantage of the one centimetre he has over the Uchiha to put his chin over Madara’s shoulder. This close, he can smells the dango they’d been snacking on earlier mixed with a windy scent and…ramen? Somehow, it suits him.

Kitsune shifts his stance slightly, pressing his hands against Madara’s belly, sharp nails pinpricking his skin through his clothes… Hold on, nails? Since when? The Uchiha is kept from freaking out about claws – which shouldn’t be this _sexy_ – when Kitsune flattens his hands to bring him even tighter against his body. So close he can feel the light-weight armour sewn into the cloak and guess at the muscles hidden beneath!

If he wasn’t already utterly smitten and totally far past swooning, his legs wouldn’t be able to hold him right now. As it is, he can’t quite hold back a little whimper.

Or his blush.

A throat clearing brings him back to the present to realise that one, Tobirama is still here, watching with an arched eyebrow Madara makes a fool of himself and two, Kitsune is beginning to oscillate between rumbling and purring, obviously feeling proud of himself. And three, there is a faint flush high on Tobirama’s cheekbones.

Madara flails. With a screech, he puts a hand on his friend’s head to attempt to push him away. It doesn’t work. If anything, Kitsune’s embrace tightens.

The Senju is of no help at all. His only reaction is to straighten and his second eyebrow to arch as well.

“I caught him first. Go catch your own mate.”

Madara freezes. What?

“What?!”

Surprisingly, the exclamation comes from the Senju, not the Uchiha who is both struck speechless and motionless by the turn of events and hanging limp from Kitsune’s embrace.

Yes, ‘what’ is exactly what he wants to ask because he’s not sure he heard correctly. ‘Mate’ is also one of the words running around in his head and Madara doesn’t know how to feel.

On one hand, he’s completely baffled by the situation. On the other hand: mate.

He, Uchiha Madara has managed to bag his – deadly, pretty and powerful – crush as his mate on his own, with no help whatsoever.

His chest fills with bemused pride. He has a mate!

(He’s going to crow about this for ages. Izuna is going to be so jealous.

While ignoring the fact he hadn’t known until he was told. No one needs to know that particular fact.)

“As if I’d want _Madara_ as a _mate_,” the Senju huffs, arms crossed over his chest.

Which would be a bit insulting except Madara doesn’t care. He’s floating on a fluffy cloud, he’s so happy.

Kitsune’s arms around him loosen a small fraction as his body loses its tension. He hums, low in chest. His eyes don’t leave the Senju’s face. The younger man isn’t quite looking at them.

“Lies.”

Madara crashes back on the ground. Tobirama twitches, face still turned away. Kitsune begins to purr again.

The Uchiha cranes his head towards his mate’s face, only catching the edge of the mask. He seems entirely serious. Tobirama’s whole attitude, on the other hand, is closed-off. The faint flush on his cheeks is transforming in a full-fledged blush that is slowly creeping up his entire face.

He’s really pretty like that. Madara never lets himself appreciate his aesthetics before. But now… He’d have to be blind to not see.

Madara is… To tell the whole truth, he’s hesitating between lifting his jaw off the ground and preening.

Two very pretty and deadly people are attracted to him!

(Of course he’d noticed Tobirama was growing into a rather handsome specimen!

He just never attracted attention to it. Because, frankly, he shouldn’t have those kind of thoughts about his (ex-)best-friend’s little brother.

He’d never have guessed Tobirama to be attracted to him in return what with his attitude towards all Uchihas and his reluctance for peace.)

“Physical attraction has nothing to do with wanting to be mates,” Tobirama refutes with a low voice. He has straightened his back and his head is held high. But he’s still not looking at them.

“Is that so?” Kitsune muses with a mild voice. “Then, why are you here?”

“His brother,” the younger man answers, pointing at Madara, “stormed into our compound three days ago, accusing us of being responsible for his disappearance. My brother has been insufferable ever since. I want my peace back.”

Madara cringes. Whooops. He forgot to warn Izuna he was taking the scenic route back home.

“Now that Izuna’s accusations have been proven unfounded,” he continues, “I’ll be going.”

Tobirama turns on one heel, back even straighter than a few seconds ago.

“Really?” Kitsune taunts and Madara has the unusual urge to strangle him. “You’re not even going to try to lay a claim?”

“I,” Madara hisses, once more attempting to escape Kitsune’s grip, “am not a thing to be fought over!”

While it is extremely gratifying to have two pretty and deadly people fight for his affections, he would like to not be considered like a thing. And to be allowed to participate, damn it!

The hooded shinobi expertly manhandles him until he can wedge the top of Madara’s head under his chin. At which point he slumps forwards, letting his captive takes all of his weight and purring for all he’s worth.

Uchihas have kept cats both as summons and as therapy animals for generations. Madara is well aware of the calming effects their purrs can have. However, he would have liked for his body not to betray him by automatically relaxing!

Madara glares at Tobirama, vexed by his own traitorous body and, while he’s not quite ready to beg for help, he won’t hesitate to do so if it means a chance to teach Kitsune a piece of his mind.

The Senju is looking at them over his shoulder, eyes wide and blush darkening to magenta. Frowning, Madara realises he’s not looking at him but above him.

Also, he can’t feel the hard edge of a mask digging in the crown of his head.

Oh.

He cranes his head back as far as he can, away from the chin digging into it. Kitsune’s mask has been pulled off. Not entirely. Just enough to reveal his mouth and the very bottom of his cheekbones.

And.

Wow.

Madara can feel all his breath leaving his body all at once as he stares, transfixed.

If that smile he saw that first day had been lethal then that smirk is apocalyptically dangerous.

“Well, then,” Kitsune muses like it’s a revelation, like he's telling them his biggest, most savory, secret, “should I hunt you?”

His smirk widens, showing off sharp canines.

This time, Madara is not the one to whimper even if he very much wants to; Tobirama is. The white-haired Senju takes a step, stumbles on his own two feet because he’s still looking at them instead of in front of him and falls forwards.

The Uchiha watches him as he scrambles to get back on his feet. As he does, their gazes meet, and Madara sends him the most understanding and longsuffering look he can manage.

Yep, they’re utterly doomed.

Kitsune chuckles. He releases Madara with a last caress up his flanks that renders him into a shivering mess.

“Ten.”

The mask is put back in place.

“Nine.”

The slow covering of that smirk somehow makes it appears all the more dangerous. And unbelievably sexy.

“Eight.”

Madara’s mind goes blank when he finally catches up with the events.

“Seven.”

That chase Kitsune initiated that day they’ve met.

“Six.”

The one he’d overlooked as mere playing.

“Five.”

It had been a challenge.

“Four.”

‘_I caught him first. Go catch you own mate._’ He had said, possessiveness in all the lines of his body and dripping from his voice.

“Three.”

Marriage Hunt.

“Two.”

All of a sudden, Tobirama is very intent on him while Kitsune keeps a close eye on them both. The two of them feel utterly confident in their future victory.

“One.”

He bristles. _He_ is going to catch Kitsune this time around. _And_ Tobirama, too, while he’s at it.

“Zero.”

They all bolt for the forest.

(Kitsune catches Tobirama first, using one very ingenious trap hidden by a much more obvious one. In short order, the Senju is trussed up before being slung over one shoulder.

Then, he easily catches Madara – despite the Uchiha knowing a large part of his usual tricks – and spends the rest of the night cuddling his two ‘preys’.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of explanation since working it into the story would have clashed with the tone:  
The story begins (as in, Zetsu's death) early in September. Tobirama is fifteen (sixteen in five months), Madara is seventeen (eighteen in three months) and Naruto/Kitsune is eighteen (nineteen in one month).
> 
> In this snippet, Naruto/Kitsune uses the ‘marriage hunts’ as 1. a great way to prank the stuffy elders – by making them panic like headless chickens at the idea of a clanless stranger marrying the clan heirs – and 2. more like engagement ceremonies than any real marriage. Hence why, in this alternate version at least, he only caught them (both times in Madara's cases) but never initiated sex.
> 
> That first chase after destroying Zetsu was just playing. As is the chase he just initiated with Tobirama. Also, it’s a good way to show his aptitudes for when the real marriage hunts will happen. If the engagements are not called off by either party before then.  
(Apparently, if Madara's weakness is Deadly and Pretty, Naruto's is Baby-Faced Legends and Tobirama's...hummm... Too-Pretty-For-Their-Own-Good/Arshole? Or something like that.)
> 
> At the same time, Naruto’s modern sensibilities are taking over. Neither Madara nor Tobirama or their clans would find their relationships strange, immoral or unethical if sex was involved. A bit like during the medieval period: 12-14 years were considered of marrying age; sometimes the teens were married even younger.  
And, well, they are at war. I wouldn't be surprised if they get married at 15-16 in order to ensure the continuation of the clan... Hashirama is already a father in this verse (and probably in canon, since he was grandfather rather young).  
Edit (03/12/19): csad has informed me in the comments (go read it, it's interesting) that child/teen marriages were a thing but without sex until severeal years after; until the body matures enough that sex (or pregnancy) is not (less of) a danger. And even then, those types of marriages were, for the most part, for political reasons and not as widespread as we could think. The idea it was widespread is a misconception that comes from the litterature of the time...
> 
> HOWEVER, in ‘there lies a trail of fire behind us’ there is no Hunt. That first chase was really just playing and a great way to get rid of the excess of adrenaline his fight against Zetsu created. Marriage Hunts are NOT canon in the main part of the series.
> 
> In the real chapter 3 and this snippet, Naruto is still at the courting stage: giving Madara nice things to eat (the fruits after the chase, the dango before Tobirama met them and other meals), taking him on a tour of Fire country (while saving the world), teaching him his personal jutsu and showing off in front of Madara to demonstrate he’d be a perfect mate to him.


End file.
